Jay Misérable

by Jay Kila

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about

A futuristic tale of oppression, love and revolution inspired by the music of Les Misérables.

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released September 9, 2013

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about

Jay Kila New York, New York

Jay Kila is a talented young rapper who presents a ground breaking new sound based on a simple concept: honesty. A native of the Upper East Side in New York City, Kila is Half-Indian and Jewish (a Hindjew). His rapid-fire delivery and intellectual lyrics present portraits of city life as well as Kila’s struggle to find his place in society. ... more

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Track Name: Dream Big
Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
A 16 year old with dreams of goin' gold
Even though they shuttin' down the record stores
Used to rap battle up on AOL with kids
After seein' 8 Mile cuz I wanted to spit
Never believed in it - neither did my chick
Who was I to try and rhyme like a real artist
My path was finance cuz I was good at math
And all the private school kids were supposed to do that - but
I still had dreams of making crowds scream
Being up on the cover of magazines
They would play my videos all day on MTV
And I could do interviews about who influenced me (uh)
Ain't shit changed my dreams they the same
I'm jus older been reading the Hunger Games
Just no longer afraid to give into the chase
Cuz my dreams would be better if I lived them awake

[Chorus]
They say dream big just in case you miss
Ever since I was a kid all I wanted was this
The juice worth the squeeze so f*ck the risk
Cuz my dreams sure as hell ain't on no bucket list
They say dream big just in case you make it
You only get one shot so I suggest you take it
The juice worth the squeeze so f*ck the risk
Cuz my dreams sure as hell ain't on no bucket list

[Verse 2]
23 with my bachelor's degree
I'd record tracks on my Mac when my time was free
But I needed money yeah I was broke as f*ck
With student loan payments that been overdue for months
Didn't want a job so I moved home with my moms
My pops he couldn't understand why I was not
Tryin' to work at a bank or an ad agency
I just said I didn't really know what I should be
But it was these dreams I had of rockin' shows that were packed
Droppin' raps so dope I could hear the people clap
Imaginin' all that - wouldn't it be a trip
F*ck I'd wake up and tell myself get a grip
It's not realistic for me to do music
And what would my family say? Would they approve of it?
"Look at Jay on YouTube actin' a lunatic
He must be going through a phase he's confused and sh*t" (well)

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
Hip-hop ain't dead it's just been gettin' f*cked
Used and beaten up by suits and hipster punks
No one shows it the love cuz they don't remember the dream
Just that now it's cool to say you can rap and MC
Well it wasn't for me this sh*t was never a choice
And the only way I'd give it up is if they severed my voice
Even tho my dreams always seemed way out of my reach
If I didn't chase 'em down I'd never feel complete
I had to do it - got up everyday I started
Just tryin' to record a song a week in my mom's apartment
No goals or any targets except to release these rhymes
Get the thoughts down on paper that been plaguing my mind
So I'd write and I'd write then record it at night
Slowly I felt better some of the songs I liked
I couldn't see it back then but now I sort of do
The reason I had these dreams was to make them come true

[Chorus]
Track Name: Rapper of the House
Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Yo - good afternoon, I'm a rapper how you doin' dude?
Let me tell you about the life I live stuff I own my wife and kids
But first, would you like some drugs? I got a bunch of 'em they're in my trunk
Don't worry - they all okay, no E just molly and cocaine
Or how about a drink? We got Ace of Spades, Kristal I think
Maybe Dom P - have a seat
Just watch for the money stacked by your feet
We should call some girls get it poppin'
Hit the strip club empty our pockets
Make it rain, run some game did you check out all my Maybachs mayne?
Nah - what about the Benz - no ceilin' but a ceilin' fan
The other other one well that's my friend's
We could drive around if we get a chance
Top down windows up - that's the way that hey don't touch that leather
It's pleather, but videos we gotta make it look better
You like cheddar, so do I
Lemme call up Phil that's my photo guy
He'll take some pics of us stuntin'
For the fans its nothing man
We'll post it up on Instagram
With a hashtag "F your life" - gotta let 'em know we run this right?
You like my belt? Chanel half-price

[Chorus] x2
Everybody loves a rap guy
Everybody loves a everybody loves a
Everybody loves a rap guy
Everybody's coolest friend! (Swag)

[Verse 2]
See I grew up on the West Side where I'd test drive all the best rides
I knew that to be a rapper I'd have to know about Audi S5s
And tech 9s sex lies - how to be the best guy
I'd need a baby mama drama two commas and Johnny Quest lines
But that was then - this is now, I'm a made man check my brows
They're tweezed son - that's called steez
Swag is the bag you'll get when you leave my house
Faust? I read a bit when I'm out
But I still don't give a funion run and jump and rub my feet on your couch
I'm a crazy guy with a lazy eye when I blaze I eat amazing pies
My life's a movie from the 80s the way that I make these ladies cry
Nothing can phase me I'm the greatest
Muhammed Ali mixed with some Jesus
So famous Nostradamus proposed that the pope would know my name is
Look I'm a great time I'm not talking down I'm just saying why
People like me man it's cuz the buzz
The music I make is eeehhh it sucks
But who cares? No one does - it's entertainment bro not poet stuff
You gotta fake it til the papers make it seem like you been blowin' up!

[Chorus]

[Bridge]

Rapper: I'm a rapper!
Girls: He's a rapper!
Rapper: I'm a rapper!
Girls: He's a rapper!
Rapper: I do what I want, say what I please anything at all girls tell me what you need!
Girl 1: He's so dreamy, pink Lamborghini. I wanna be with him tomorrow on TV!
Maybe it's not love and I'm a side piece but I love a rap guy!
Rapper: So does my niece!
Track Name: Look Down
Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Welcome to the future to the land of men and medusas
Who looking for nothing but convenience and computers
It's super so duper that stuff you could get used to
So sit back Jack and relax - don't' believe all of them rumors
It's cool - the way that we live all that we ask is time that you give
Time my friend time again - you got plenty find a pen
And sign the dotted line right there
You're the corporate kind of course mon frére
And it's fortunate when you're forty five
You'll feel the joy of a joyous life
You'll be rich and free with social security
Pensions in a penthouse you'll never say life's boring me
So pour some tea and forget about whatever it is that you dreading now
You got letterheads a rental house
Everything that your friends' without can't afford
Oh wait there's more - a 4-door Ford Explorer
And a holiday in Bali that is probably paid for

[Chorus] x2
Hands up from the back to the front
Everyone if you love what you do - put 'em up
This one's for the guys and the girls with the thighs
Who work everyday and all f*ckin' night!

[Verse 2]
You're a company man there's your desk right there
You got a company hat and a company chair
You got a company shirt some company jeans
Wear 'em every damn day uh I mean please
See no one cares what you do round here
Did you read about us in GQ last year?
We're cool so hip except there are no replacements
Ya get it? Nah? Well don't mess shit up
If you get stressed visit the sex department
What's that you ask? It's an efficiency start
Started at Google increases impact
By 30% its on the 3rd floor
Just make sure your wife's cool with whores
Now let's have some fun - we got numbers to crunch
Memos to check and useless stuff to do
Don't worry you're new remember it's like your first day of school
So for lunch today we got fish filet
What's that she ordered? You like Kanye? Ha ha he's great
Yeah me too I told you bro we're f*cking cool
Play by the rules and you will be making a killing
Billing expenses spilling expensive wines and dine
Thrills of executive kinds fine girls galore
The world is yours anything you ever want plus more
Imagine that - what's holding you back?
Nothing the company loves you Jack
So - just do what you're told
Don't think for yourself and you'll be gold

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
Time will pass so will you
Do or do not you still gon' do
Choose us choose cool
The company loves me and you
Family should always come first
So plan to be managing in your hearse
Shirts tucked in belts stay buckled
But relax there's time to chuckle
Hup two step rise and grind
The sun goes down our lights still shine
The sun comes up we been awake
In this place there's no night or day
Just clocks to punch emails to send
Stocks goes up we do it again
We've done it before we'll do it some more
We'll do it until our souls get sore
We'll do it until our fluids are drained
Till all of the music just sounds the same
We'll do it until our brains decay
Ravens chew on all our remains
We'll do it until we love our jobs
We did it because we love our jobs
We always knew we would love our jobs
Did we tell you how much we love our jobs!?

[Chorus]
Track Name: My Own
[Verse 1]
Fears of being broke wasting years on dreams and hopes
Unclear what's beneath the smoke a career or cheesy jokes
Just a low key con artist who's dodgin' the job market
A renegade with a resume that never got started
So carotid my arteries ain't been down with my artistry
And honestly no one really bargains for harmonies
The margins are slimmer now my hopes are on thinner ground
I can't take it when I wake up I'm feeling so cynical
Givin' the finger to my reflection - lingering on these questions
Am I moving somewhere new? Or back in the same direction
This a passion or profession? Forgettin' to count my blessings
Essence of imperfection escaping me every second
Every word that I write - testament to my might
But still each night my will power gets devoured by fright
Too many hours slipping by with all these doubts on my mind
If money isn't the motive then what was my alibi?

[Chorus]
Knock me down so I can get back up
Say I can't I won't then I'll go practice
Say it's too late I'm too old it ain't worth a try
But the day I call it quits is the day that I die
Tell me no so I can find a way how
Say that it can't be done watch me do it pal
Say it's too late I'm too old it ain't meant to be
I'm a do this on my own that's my destiny

[Verse 2]
Life's tough do I have the right stuff
Promised myself many times that I'd never give up
Already changed paths before fought this internal war
About where the hell I been heading and what I was searchin' for
My self-loathing has been grown' and it's makin' me sick
All the apathy debasin' me erasing my wish
And I dunno if it's the pressure or my patience is gone
But I been waiting for a moment that's been taking too long
At the start it was hard to convince myself of the truth
That hip-hop music was something I could actually do
Now the farther I've come the more ironic it seems
Since no one cares about the music in the music industry
Just how many downloads you got what other artists you know
If you cool and smoke pot who's gonna be at your show
A lotta people they been sayin' that rappin' is easy
You believe that forget you try and be me

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
Go slow they tell me to go slow
They don't know what it's like to watch all of these clowns though
To see the thing you love get trampled down in the mud
Ripped apart by these thieves fiendin' tryna make a buck
I won't succumb to the dumb or give in to the ignant
I didn't pursue art to start a career in business
This isn't for the riches it's to have an impact
To bring respect back to this shit they call rap
Cuz they been takin' it from me treatin' hip hop like a joke
That picture on Page 6 in the New York Post
And I don't know but it seems like everyone's fine with the deal
To praise all of these fakes and forget about the real
I can't remember a time that it felt like this
Where no one cares about the rhyme just the belt and the kicks
Call me jealous or a hater I know one thing for sure
If I can't say what I mean then what am I rappin' for?
Track Name: Castle
[Verse 1]
You'll probably meet me when you get into college
If you haven't then your mama mighta locked me in her closet
I be up at the bars not allowed in the cars
At least if someone's drivin' they won't get very far
See I'm a cool kinda cat you can ask all the fellas
They make me meet the girls that's how I met Ellen
She was tellin' Tommy that she wanted a taste
And the next thing you know she had her hips on his waist
In the basement of his place it was cops and robbers
A party for the people who pretend to act proper
He offered her some more of course she said sure
She ain't never felt a feelin' like this before
Such an insecure gal now she's the talk of the town
Walking around with Tommy her stockings are falling down
Everyone's giving him props she's fin' to throw up
But it don't' matter once her bladder takes a couple more shots

[Chorus]
Come with me I'ma set you free
Let you be everything that you wanna be
You can do all the things you ain't supposed to do
And if you choose everyone'll be all over you
Come with me I'ma give you a voice
Power is a must responsibility choice
If you tempted well don't worry it's okay to give in
Cuz everybody likes livin' in original sin

[Verse 2]
I met Mark he was chilling in the park
Making some noise with his boys it was a little after dark
They had sparked an L passing gas to mask the smell
Having a blast cracking laughs all that Kenan and Kel
It was a warm summer's eve they were headed to meet
The other brothers getting greased at the fraternity
They arrived just in time to find Tommy doing some lines
With Ellen who kept on yellin' that she wanted to try
Her eyes wide as she did you could see her wig split
Guys all tried to hide their big shit eating grins
Mark was silent sitting in the corner reclining
Eyeing Ellen while he's dwelling on how he can go and slide in
And tell her that she needs to leave right now
Cuz Tommy and Steve got plans to make her scream real loud
She's too faded to realize what he's trying to say
And as the day breaks Mark's got a life to save

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
You'll probably meet me where the sidewalk ends
The corner store with floorboards and the lights that dim
When what you got is not enough and you need something more
I'll be waiting with open arms you just open the door
And you can leave anytime go back to where you came
But you'll find your mind idle - nothing has really changed
You'll feel empty inside like you missing a piece
Cuz even though you made a choice you've never been free

[Chorus]
Track Name: Who Am I
[Lyrics]
There's a war going on inside my mind
A battle between me and myself who rhymes
To one - life's fine - nothing seems to be missing
As long as there's some food and a pot to piss in
The other is a fiend feeling incomplete
An MC unsatisfied with the way things be
He craves respect and acceptance
To be taken serious as a real artist
So it doesn't matter if he ditches his friends
Neglects the world even his parents
If he ain't doing work his time is wasted
Mind focused on how he'll find his place in
The history books - he's chasing greatness
With each creation he gets more impatient
Waiting to feel success's sensations
Waiting and waiting and waiting to make it
Til one day he's drinking at the bar
Thinking on the mixtape to finish tomorrow
This girl approaches him says hey what's up
Next thing you know they start fallin' in love
Now he starts questioning the meaning of stuff
Wondering what's underneath his music
If he stands for something bigger than himself
Are the rhymes just for him? Or anyone else?

[Chorus]
Who was I then who am I now who will I be when all the lights go out
Am I my name or a person a play or rehearsal
The same way I came or the game changing version
I thought that I knew myself
But I get lost every time that the music swells
Am I the past or the present some cash or the credit
The last in the class or the facts as I said it
Tell me what I'm supposed to do someone please tell me what I'm supposed to do
I dunno anymore what I'm supposed to do I just know what I can and I'm hoping you
Understand - I am what I am if i never find myself well I'll be damned
I came into this world out of nothing and I ain't going out until I'm something

[Verse 2]
Fast forward one year later
His pen hasn't touched a single sheet of paper
His mind is fogged dreams a vapor
Sleep interrupted by nerves and shakers
He hates himself - he's become a traitor
Greatness erased by his lack of labor
And he can't escape this stagnant crater
He's doomed to indecision a massive failure
There's nowhere to turn nowhere to hide
No one understands what he feels inside
It ain't about the money it's about the music
He's lost the feeling he can even do it
Everything that he writes sounds so stupid
And he starts to blame all of it on cupid
So he curses his fate curses his girl
Curses the day he was birthed in this world
He was so naive to pursue this dream
When's he gonna grow up where's his self-esteem
The voice in his mind is playing overtime
And it won't be quiet he's crossed a line
Broke the foundation his basis shaken
Beliefs are vacant no determination
He's back at square 1 and there's a hunch
Sittin' on his shoulders that he'll never become
What he wanted to what he was supposed to be
When he set out with so much hope and glee
He's lost - there's no meaning now
He stares at his screen reading about
Other people's lives the stuff they doing.
No point in trying it's tough to move him
Was it all in his head he could make it happen?
He should get a real job and forget about rappin'

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
(Stay true to yourself)
(Just get the wealth)
(Say what you mean)
(Just get the cream)

I pray for the pain to go away
For the guilt and the shame to hold no weight
I ask for the strength to do what I must
Fend off the doubts the demons that I lust
The faith to believe that I will become
What I see in my dreams and I feel in my gut
Who I am I may never know
But these words within I can't withhold
I don't know anymore what I'm supposed to do
I just know what I can and I've chosen to
Keep going - where the path may lead
If I have to start over - so let it be
I'm a speak my mind stay true to myself
Mean what I rhyme use what I'm dealt
Cuz I came into this world out of nothing
And I ain't going out until I'm something

[Chorus]
Track Name: People Sing
[Verse 1]
Last of a dying breed outcast by lying MCs
In an industry that's selling out but no one's buying CDs
What happened to rap man? When did the art of rhyming disease?
And hip-hop become a synonym for hypocrisy
It's easy indeed to brag about the money and jewels
But what if rappers were just kids and they attended your school
And all they talked about was the girls or even the cars that they drive
Would you still think they were ill when they were yelling no lie?
Or it would it seem that maybe they were full of themselves
And the only basis for this bragging was material wealth
And it wasn't theirs, somebody else had given it to them
Well that's hip-hop and the current condition it's in

[Chorus]
Let 'em say what they want - they'll never take this from us
Music made by the ancient nations time to shake off the dust
They been holding a throne that was never theirs to own
So we throwing a revolution on these microphones
We gon' rhyme until the end til our cries get dim
Til the real is recognized and we rise again
So if you feel it in your bones raise a fist and let's go

[Verse 2]
Music's an art it's supposed to come right out of your heart
Back in the day I wonder if people'd approach Mozart at the bar
And be like "Bro, you compose? Well lemme hear what you got -
I used to write, and I play the piano a lot"
Nah they didn't - so why should rappin' be any different
But Jay it's cuz it's been infected by commerciali-li-lism
So is pop rock country indie folk and even electronic
Nah the real reason is rap's lyrical content is garbage
Cuz all these artists they be out here and they tryna make it
So just like Wayne says the money is they motivation
Which means they'll imitate imitations of what used to be great
But there's no room for innovation just original fakes
Who's to blame in a society where competition is king?
And if you ain't on top then what the hell are you even doing?
Gettin' rich or dying buying the latest edition of hype...
Do you listen to rap music or just what the people like?

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
This music is for the people the outkasts and all the failures
Anyone who's ever dreamt about just being rebellious
Don't tell us it's hating when all of the sh*t that you making
Is masturbating on how you made it and are still celebrating
We won't take it - it's been ages since somebody said something
That more than a four door or 808 with the base bumping
Fronting about a life where there's really nothing to like
But when we drunk up in the club it makes it seem kinda tight
It ain't right when you in a position to make a difference kids listen
And the only lesson that you give 'em is I'm better than all you b*tches
Cuz I'm richer with pictures more followers on my Twitter
I don't give a sh*t about the world long as my digits get bigger
Raise your fingers if you've had it the status quo of these actors
Rappin' like they makin' magic it's just money and wackness
Tragic where's the passion what happened to the love of the game?
Enough of the drugs and fame - maybe it's time for some change